Posted on 19. Nov, 2015 in All Posts, Coaching, Faith, Fitness Journey, Health, Uncategorized
Today was my first day that I could exercise since doing my 21 day Detox. I am ONE pound from my goal weight which is so exciting! The timing of this has not been great though and not being able to exercise while suffering one of the most difficult times of my life has made my hard road even harder.
My two favorite loves of exercise are running and lifting weights. When I run, I listen to Pandora Christian Radio and just let the air and my mind, body and spirit connect with God. I have my most amazing revelations while running!
Today was different. I had a memory of running up this hill back in 2004 when I was going through a very traumatizing divorce with my little ones’ Dad. It was one of the darkest times of my life literally. I live around the corner from my home I shared with him so I still run the same hill believe it or not. I was reminded of my pain and suffering as I ran up that hill back then. My sadness today was suddenly magnified and intensified as the realization set in that I was back in that same hurtful spot once again. How can it be…how can I be here AGAIN?
Of course, I cried all the way up my hill. Have you ever tried running when you’re crying? It’s not the best combo let me tell you! In life we expect others to love us and granted they are supposed to. But, life isn’t always fair and those that we trust and expect will love us or will always love us will let us down. We live in a fallen world… people will hurt us and let us down. Sometimes our expectation is too big, and other times, things just don’t turn out as we expect them to.
As all these thoughts and hurtful feelings raged through my body, I had to stop running I simply because I could no longer get air with all my tears and suddenly I felt my heart overflowing with love… Jesus softly whispered in my ear – my dear – I love you! I loved you so much that I gave up my life for YOU. More tears flowed… What true love that is. It doesn’t matter if any man ever loves me – I have the true love from a man who gave the ultimate sacrifice to show me just how much he loved me – his life!
What I have been learning through all my tears and heartache is that God wants to be my everything. He doesn’t want me to rely on someone else to meet all my needs but he wants my trust 100%.
“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”
~Luke 15:13 NLT